My Sweet 16 is 60

Ok, finally... I'm getting to this. It's been several weeks now, more like two or three months even that I should have written this piece but as usual, the laziness in me has prevailed till now that I can push it no further.

Unfortunately, this time, it was worse than just my laziness, times have been hard. lol. Imagine having to smile and act like all is well, when all you're really at is tearing up inside. Well, I put myself through all that and there isn't much I can write about that now...

To why am here. My baby is gon' be 60 in a few days from now... and the first thing that comes to my mind is how much of a pain in her ass I've actually been and how well her love towards me doesn't make the pain count. Not like I was the most stubborn child growing up but literally, at least according to her, I was 5kg at birth and that caused considerable tear, so pain in her a** is actually putting it mildly. I'd write her a poem, but not today... someday, most def, I will… Today’s just to reminisce a little on how much of a bae she’s been.

Thinking back, mum's being a whole lot to me... Wait a minute! Dad just sent me a Facebook request? WTH!!! Naaaah mehn, this isn't happening! =)) Anyways, what was I even saying? Yeah... mum's been a whole lot to me and there’s almost no better time to reflect on some of those things that make her special.

Despite the fact that daddy was the first Pastor in the house, mum has always been our domestic pastor. I remember her very long prayer sessions, especially the ones we had just after fasting... Apologies mum, it was hard looking forward to them, and on this one, I speak for the sisters too... lol. But yeah, she's someone I look up to spiritually. The fruits of the spirit personified... I pray God continues to strengthen and perfect her. She remains the only one in our house who finds talking about certain things awkward (and me too, don't beef! lol)... those kinda chats that give popsy and at least two of the sisters so much energy! Smh.

My baby is gentle. I think without any argument she's the least stubborn of us all. Note, least stubborn... not most gentle! cos that agídí-ìjèshà thing runs in the family, I believe. More in some than others though (not like am subbing anyone :p). Growing up, her biggest punishment was "I will tell your daddy" (popsy was the then title holding Mr. Macho) and all you needed to do most times was beg her. Beg from a distance where àbàrá will not touch you!

She's the perfect example of sacrifice; she'll give off her anything for you. The type that will abandon her illness just so she can visit another ill fellow, like her own life was less important! There's just one thing I recall now that she isn't glad to share - her husband. Once she was saying with so much pity how she needed to start eating well (and taking her meds when necessary too) cos daddy said he wasn't promising not to marry another if she dies. Sounds harsh yeah? Trust me, she really needed that sometimes... at least, threat or not, it worked. Not sure that threat will work anymore though, they are both all greyed-up now.

She may be retiring but she's my teacher for life. Like her co-teachers (and someone I used to know) would call her, Mama Ajayi. Mama Ajayi is diligent. I know how many hours she'd put into marking scripts, preparing score sheets and report cards and how bad she felt for one tiny little error, despite the seemly permissible mediocre output we find in public service these days. I can say with confidence, her kind is a dying breed.

I honestly can't recall her spanking me for not getting my homework right or anything like that but there's something I'll always remember and that's how much she supported my going to JSS1 after primary five even after dad brought a counselor home to attempt to convince me otherwise cos his boy was still too young (yímú). I recall that night, after listening to the whole sermon by the counselor, like the true omo ìjèshà that I am, I heard it all but did not agree (as me and mumsy don plan) and thank God, I didn't disappoint her. When we went to check the list of qualified candidates, abi na pupils, after searching in the wrong list for about 10 mins (I already sensed her disappointment) we suddenly realized we were checking the reserve list and immediately I heaved a sigh of relief cos then I was all too sure I passed. I can't not pass and not be on reserve, kò possible!

She didn't stop there. When I was in the university, at the time paale will say "my son is already a big boy", she put in the word that got my weekly allowance raised. I'll save y'all the stress of laughing; I won’t put a figure to the whole allowance itself.

And Oh! Mum is a workaholic. This can never be complete without her famous invention. "Kí a tia se yèé?" An expression she used after a day of tiring chaos with the sisters, and just when they thought it was over, she spotted one last thing to be done... "e máa bò, e máa bò, kí a tia se yèé?" (a combination of pure Yoruba and ìjèshà that means come, come, what do we do about this??) I'll leave the response they gave her to your imagination.

Before I go, this is another opportunity I have to appeal to her to agree to marry daddy o. Hmmm... Mummy, it should be about thirty-something years now, about thirty eight if am not making a mistake that he asked to marry you... Just so we are sure, I think it's high time you opened your mouth and said YES! Trust me it won't hurt (and fyi, maybe that's why I haven't asked anyone yet cos me I must hear the answer o)... shy shy something... abi, even if it was about being skeptical, after thirty four years, by now, you should have believed! Now, I just looked for trouble... I know!

Finally, to the point of all this… Happy Birthday to my wonderful momma, thanks for always being there and may God continue to keep you for us all in good health and happiness and may He grant all your heart desires (I know one of them) in Jesus name.

I love you mum!